Monster Zero

The collected works of the Point Loma / Ocean Beach / Mission Hills ska-funk phenomenon known as Monster Zero, active from 1989-1990. Named after Ghidora, the Three Headed Monster, Godzilla’s arch-nemesis, this group is the source of such unforgettable jams as “Camel Jack”, “Crime and Rhyme”, and “Naked Ladies”. In addition to a slew of originals, Monster Zero also kept it real by covering classic ska songs from the likes of Fishbone, The Specials, The English Beat, and Bad Manners.

Monster Zero consisted of:

• Chris McGee: cowbell, lead vocals
• Alex Kohrt: guitar, vocals
• John Roy: saxophones, vocals
• Gino Salerno: drums
• Mike Newman: bass guitar
• Michael Murdoch: keyboards, vocals
• Steve Pratschner: trombone

Original Songs:

• Camel Jack – this was, I believe, our first original; Chris was so damn good at just freestyling lyrics over whatever idiot jam we were doing that it usually ended up sticking; Pus & Zero Boy and MC Honky give extended kudos to this song on Journey to the Elemental Plane of Funk with “The Further Adventures of Camel Jack”
• Crime and Rhyme – an ode to the Mission Hills Posse
• Monster Zero – where the beloved phrase “Twice Baked Biscuit” came from; someone needs to make a Wikipedia entry for that slanguage
• Cheeze Whiz – this has also been remade by Alex’s college band The Brothers of Other; the original lyrics to the rap are available in the Poetry archives
• Kmart Funk – somebody remind me of the lyrics to this, it had something to do with buying shoes…this one also resurrected in concept by MC Honky, Pus & Zero Boy on Journey to the Elemental Plane of Funk
• Darkie Love Affair – this has also been covered by one of John Roy’s many other musical dynasties The Unsteady
• Ham and Eggs – the title came from a sound on the Yamaha DX27 keyboard we used for tuning the guitars
• Naked Ladies – if you sing it, they will take their clothes off…really!
• I’m Broke – usually the show opener
• Good Man – there is also the 1993 Government Cheeze Remix over on the Pus & Zero Boy compliation called Apes and Froggs
• Outa Gitchya – I don’t remember this one, but it is on a setlist I have in Alex’s handwriting
• Walk the Plank – as in, if you don’t skank…

Cover Songs:

• Big Shot – The English Beat
• Ackee 123 – The English Beat
• Tears of a Clown – The English Beat (actually, the Beat covered Smokey Robinson)
• Ranking Full Stop – The English Beat
• Lip Up Fatty – Bad Manners
• Nite Klub – The Specials
• I Wish I Had a Date – Fishbone
• A Selection – Fishbone
• Ma and Pa – Fishbone
• Cholly – Fishbone
• Ugly – Fishbone
• Party at Ground Zero – Fishbone
• Lyin’ Ass Bitch – Fishbone

The chucklehead rhythm section would also usually bust out with some Yes and Rush covers when the horns and keys were surveying the state of available alcohol.

MONSTER ZERO (1990)

1. Crime and Rhyme
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2. Camel Jack
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3. Naked Ladies
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4. Darkie Love Affair
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5. Good Man
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6. Ham and Eggs
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7. Monster Zero
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The original Monster Zero group promo pic: (from left to right) Steve, Chris, Mike N, Alex, Gino, John, Mike M.



Monster Zero Flyer - with Daddy Long Leggs; this was possibly the most insane party Point Loma had ever seen, garnering the attention of two police helicopters and cleanup the next morning ranged for a quarter mile in every direction. I believe this party also was the genesis of the line 'contain that shit, bitch!' Daddy Long Leggs didn't even get to play on the stage that we had built before the police arrived.



Monster Zero Flyer - with Plum Daisy; this was at the Playground in Imperial Beach, a converted roller skating rink with great parquet floors. I brought my horrible VHS copies of Godzilla films which we showed on the huge screen next to the stage while we played our set.



Monster Zero Flyer - Skankathon; this gig was in Michael Ford's backyard on the Fourth of July; I don't remember where I stole the background graphics from, but I think it was a local artist



Monster Zero Flyer - Speechless; this flyer is super because it has both of the original Monster Zero logos, and as a bonus, a modified Billboard chart listing the albums that were hot at that time, including 'Please Hammer Don't Hurt Em' by MC Hammer (#6), 'To The Extreme' by Vanilla Ice (#3), and 'Listen Without Prejudice, Vol.1' by George Michael (#11); I believe this was at Jason St. John's crib - fact check please